*Leo steps up to the mic* ahem *cough, throat clear* Hey! Hi everybody! Welcome to my party!! Yeah!! Whoo!!!!!
Alright! I got somethin’ ta say before we get this party started!! Yeah!!
*paw pumps, uses those extra toes to do the rock on symbol* Today ay ay, I consider myself self self, the luckiest mancat cat cat, on the face of the earth earth earth.
*hysterical laughing followed by a kitty snort* Ok, ok, that was silly, but I mean it! And the next thing that ball player guy said after that really hits where I live. He said, "I might have been given a bad break, but I’ve got an awful lot to live for."
I think you all know that I was born outside, in the cold cruel world, my momma was feral, my daddy, if I knew who he was, was probably feral. And I was on my way to being feral myself, to a short life of fights, fleas, ticks, cars, dangerous animals, and all the other hazards out there that are too numerous and horrible to name.
But my family was saved, scooped up, and literally snatched from hell by an angel named Miz Chrystal and her angel family! They fixed my momma, (I didn’t know she was broken..), and let her go back because she was way way way too flipped out to ever like the peoples. They kept paying attention to me and my sissies, even though we hated them for it, until.. well, until we loved them for it!
Man were they nice to us! We had foods! Every single day! We had cozy places to sleep! And they introduced us to the most amazing thing in the world.. TOYS!!!! Let’s hear it for toys!! WHOOOO *more paw pumping, strutting back and forth on the stage until recalling his purpose and steps back to the mic*
Ok, so that was AWESOME!! But an even more awesomer thing happened next! I didn’t think it was so awesome at the time.. but I got taken for a LONG car ride with Miz Chrystal and her angel daughters and they handed me over to this weird lady and giant guy and they took me on an even LONGER car ride! Man was that scary! But the lady, she held me on and off about half of that ride, and over the next few days she showed me that I could not only trust them, but I could love them too. Now they’s known to me and Star, my new uh.. *paw over mic, leaning toward where Star is* can I call you my sisfur? *getting an exasperated eye roll, quick nod and a hurry up paw motion, turns back to the mic* Uh, now they’s known to me and Star, my new sisfur, as mommy and daddy! Um.. I mean, mom an dad.. I’m a mancat now, mancats don’t say mommy and daddy.. right?
Right. Where was I.. Mancat! Yes! Today I am a mancat! Mommy... mom showed me the chart. Last year I was but a teenager, but this year on my second birthday! I’m all growed up! See!
That’s why I’m having a mancat party! *whispers loudly into the mic* I’ve already been in the nip... HA!
So listen, let me outline the entertainment! Live! On stage as soon as I shut up! The only all main coon cat band ‘The Main Event’!! I know they say they are all main coons, but dude, everyone can see that the drummer is a Spinx who goes by the stage name ‘Skins’! Come on dudes! Bwhahaha!
Hey, if you think you recognize some of the band members, well, you can’t be sure with all that stage make up on, now can you?
Anyway, they’ll be scratchin’ out all the kitty anthems all night long. And in between sets, karaoke!!
*looking to the side* what’s that? *watches as lots of kittens file onto the stage behind him* Oh! Cool! It’s the Kitten Chorale!
Kitten: We’s here ta lead ya all in singin’ happy birthday to the big guy! *somewhat in harmony, the kittens start singing* happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy BIRTHday dear Leo the Chinese Lion... Happy birthday to you! Yay!!
*Leo steps back up to the mic, wiping a tear, or something from his eye* Aw, thanks you guys! You’re terrific! You kittens stay away from the bar, k?
Speaking of the bar! All you adult kitties can help yourself to niptinis, nip brandy, silvervine tea and valerian root beer! There’s also milk and tuna juice available!
Without further ado, let’s hear it for The Main Event! *cheers*
*The Main Event sings Cat Scratch Fever, Stray Cat Strut, Walking My Cat Named Dog, and Everybody Wants to Be a Cat before taking their first break. Leo steps back up, panting a little from dancing like a berzerker kangaroo*
Dudes! And ladycats.. I totally forgot to tell ya all about the buffet! We got chicken! Oh yeah, gotta have chicken or Star would see to it that I don’t have a third birthday! And ham! Fishes for those of you who can eat it, not me of course.. *sigh* And a huge cheese platter since we just discovered how great it is and that so many other kitties like it too!
Kittens: *in unison* Don’t forget cake! And Nip ice cream! *some of the kitten chorale kittens wheel in a cart with the cakes on them*
Aw cool! Lots of cakes! And that ice cream smells yummy!
Hey, I’m kicking off the Karaoke with a song dedicated to my sisfur’s kinda sorta main squeeze! *giggles and loudly sings Love The One You’re With!*
*Laughing, he waves rock paws again* Ok! Who’s next??
*Star takes the stage, with a glare at Leo* This is dedicated to my brain dead.. oh ugh, I can’t say brofur... This is because of the barbarian.. *Sings* It’s his party and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to! You’d cry too if he lived with you! *finishes her altered song and smirks at Leo as another kitty or two steps up to sing, is it you? What did you sing?*
*The Main Event retakes the stage and sings Cat in the Cradle,, Smelly Cat, the Cat Came Back, Tom Cat, and I Tawt I Taw a Puddy Tat before breaking again and diving into the nip bar*
Who’s next for Karaoke?? Ok, me first again, I’m gonna sing Mean Eyed Cat! *Leo sings his song and lets a few other kitties go before the Main Event, a little worse for wear, retakes the stage*
Oh my Cod! Look who showed up to MY party to sit in on a song!!! It’s Cat Stevens!!
*Leo tries to use his extra toes to work a lighter to hold up, no luck, but purrs loudly while Cat and the Main Event sing Katmandu!*
Let’s hear it for Cat! *cheers!* Man I wish he could stay and have a niptini or two, but he’s got a plane to catch..
*The Main Event continues with Alley Cat, and just for the woofies, How Much Is That Doggie in the Window and Puppy Love before continuing with the cat anthems including Three Cool Cats, Year of the Cat, and after inviting up three lovely pointed girl kitties, they play The Siamese Cat Song while the girls sing*
Ok, everyone! We’re gonna continue with the Karaoke and the band, but I want to remind you about tomorrow! It’s gonna be FUN FUN FUN FUN FOR EVERYONE, seriously! Literally! Totally!
And here’s your last hint!
So please, stay all night, there’s beds all over the place, we even opened the loud girls room for more bedding! Uh.. sorry about the scuffle by my mancat cave... I thought I took those pictures down before the party *sends a startled look at Star who is laughing maniacally*
Anyway.. Have fun, enjoy yourself, but don’t forget to check in tomorrow!!!!