Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Invasion! Part 2, The Return!

Leo here, to continue and conclude our epic tail of EBIL SQUIRREL INVASION in our very own home! (link to the first part: Tuesday's Tail ~ Invasion)


When I left you, the ebil squirrel was back, or had awoken from a two day nap, or he sent one of his buddies to continue this squirrel army invasion! We'll never know for sure, but it was making the biggest racket and we were about to be herded into the laundry room again! The horrors!!

Momma and daddy didn't want a repeat of us all trying to escape, I mean, go out to head off the rest of the invading army! So they decided we should get locked up first. Glitter was easy to scoop up because she came down from her perch on the cat tree to say hi hi to daddy. Cashmere refused to come downstairs and so was given a reprieve from the governor, I mean daddy. And I decided I was better off under momma's bed and that's where I darn well stayed! Someone had to keep an eye on her! Or at least her ankles...(she was sittin' on the side of the bed, fyi)

Right off the bat, daddy noticed a big problem. "Ut oh.." is never something you want to hear. But you REALLY don't want to hear it in the middle of a squirrel invasion!  

Dread dripped off of mom's voice when she said "ut oh what?" I don't think she really wanted to hear it. "It's not in the chimney anymore is it?" she almost squeaked. Come to think of it, she almost sounded like she was trying to speak ebil squirrel speak! is she in cahoots with them?? No, not my mommy! She better not be...  

Daddy said he didn't think so. He thought it was behind the water heater, IN the house, not behind the wall behind the water heater where it had been before. Why doesn't it leave then? Mom was still squeak/squealing. That stuff bothers my ears, but if I came out to protest, someone would lock me up, so I stayed put! I think I'm a freakin' hero for that, ha! You just try to sit still when she's in screechy mode, you'll want combat pay too!

Mom's suggestion that daddy get down and look under the water heater was met with resistance. Apparently daddy prefers not to have the flesh ripped from his face by deranged rodents in fancy fur suits with fluffy tails. Hey.. fancy fur suits with fluffy tails.... Oh wait, I'm not in the rodent family, I'm in the awesomely cool exceptional cat family! whew! crisis averted! Anyway, no go on the looking the critter eye to eye, not even to assess if it really was there. Mom said take a picture! He did, but there's no flash on his phone (daddy still has a flip phone, pity him) so mom said use hers, but he got out the real camera instead, stuck his hand over the top of the water heater and aimed it downward. Guess what he got a picture of! 
No, really, guess! 
Right! Ebil Squirrel!!!

Mom had to lighten the picture a bunch so you could really see our invader. There he is, in all his slavering, snarling, scary glory!  

Ebil Squirrel: Nobody here but us dust motes.... 



Do not be fooled by his low to the ground petrified demeanor, he's just posing, trying to look sympathetic for the camera. Don't buy it! 

One thing the camera showed was that he was kinda stuck. There's not enough room between the water heater and the wall for him to run through. So that must be why he isn't running out the door. Mom noticed the black thing around the base of the water heater, it's supposed to be some kind of filter to keep dust and cat hair out of the burner or air part or whatever. Mom said take it off, then he can leave by going under. Dad was skeptical and again, didn't want to get down there and you know, the ripping and shredding of face flesh and all that. 

So Mom turned on the Bat Signal, sent out the call to Superman, lit the Green Lantern, called in the Superheros!!! Ok, she called twin 2 and asked her if her husband or anyone she knew were into any sport where they had a helmet with a face guard. "I got this" Twin 2 said, donning her tights and cape and adjusting her mask! She was here in a Flash! She came equipped with her super tools, ie, a wire basket and an adjustable baby gate. 

She put the gate up to keep the ebilness from coming into the living room when it eventually decided to leave. The big wire basket was to protect faces from ebil claws! First thing they did was get the black filter thingie off and out of the way. Another peek over the water heater showed that the squirrel was no longer in sight! He must be under it! Run! Run you nasty ebil beast! Run and be free to terrorize the outside once more! Run! Flea! Take off! Scamper away! Depart our dwelling you awful critter! ...um, you can go now.... Hello...

Time for another picture, face far from shredding zone.
 
Ebil Squirrel: *coughcough* you people ever think about sweeping under here? 
Have you ever heard of a filter? You know, one that works... 



Well, he's definitely under the water heater now. And it's lower than we all thought. Is he stuck? Don't think so, but he's pretty much just sitting there, hiding. 
  
Wonder Warrior Twin to the rescue again! She gets out the broom and sticks it over the top and down to try to chase him out. His ebilness was unimpressed. Then, with a flourish of her might hand, WWT pulled out her mightiest, most powerful, weapon! Google! 

Mom was unimpressed with the mighty google's first suggestion of using apple cider vinegar. How's a smell going to shift someone who's too scared to move? (can you believe mom was starting to sympathize with that ebil thing? Is this Stockholm syndrome? Does it happen that fast??) The second suggestion was loud noises. Again, mom poo poos it, saying that'll just scare it further back into the corner. Wonder Warrior Twin (WWT) was not swayed! She found a pan and a spoon and started a-bangin' away! 

Holy carp! now I wanted to run!!!! But I was.. um, busy guarding mom's ankles, from under the bed. Deep under the bed. Way far back under the bed.... I think mom wanted to join me though, she was getting screechy again. Daddy backed away, maybe he wanted under the bed too. It was about to get crowded under there. 

WWT stopped finally, I mean, to see if it was doing any good. She was on the stairs, daddy was heading from the living room to the roundy round to get to the other side, not between the water heater and the door, when mom saw it! Just as quiet and stealthily as it could, it scamper/hopped out the door and skedaddled away!

"It's gone!" mom shouted, "Shut the door!!!!" Daddy questioned her, was she sure. The look momma gave him (and I swear I could feel it from under the bed!) said she was sure and he probably shouldn't ask that again.. Yes, the ebil thing was gone!!!

The Wonder Warrior Twin gathered the tools of her trade and strode out with the confidence of a job well done and drove off into the setting sun, like the hero she was.  

Now, here's the real question... Was this the same ebil squirrel? A second one? If he was the same, what was he doing those quiet days.. had he escaped and came back again? Are they sending their ebil army one maniac berserker at a time? Are we safe? Or do we have to keep a constant vigil at the water heater? 

I, for one, plan to patrol the water heater several times a day, just to keep my family safe! And if I hear so much as one tiny chitter, why I'll alert everyone from under the bed before you can say SQUIRRRRRRRELLLL!!!

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Tuesday's Tail ~ Invasion!!

Leo here, to relate to everyone a really scary and harrowing story of a home invasion that still has my furs on end! Yes, it was our home! And the invader... Well lets just say he was noisy, obnoxious, clumsy, cute, annoying.. wait a second, did I say cute? That's not my description! That's the daddy and mommy being all weirdly concerned about this little invader! 

But I know the truth! He may have a fur coat and a long fuzzy tail, but he's just a rodent in disguise! (points for anyone who knows the song parody referenced here) 

He was.. 

he was an.. 

AN EBIL SQUIRREL!!!!!

pinterest image

You heard me right! One of those pesky, annoying, pestering, teasing, twitchy little monsters was IN OUR HOUSE!!!! Right inside our house! Without a leash or cage or anything! 
Don't faint on me now, Ladycats.. it gets worse! But I promise everyone in this epic story survived, harm free!

To fully understand the story, I need to give you some background on how our house is weirdly built (or I should say, weirdly remodeled because we bought it from the remodel-er and we can affirm that he knew not what he was doing..) We have a stairway kind of smack dab in the middle of the house, you can go both ways around it, giving us a circle to run round and round and round if we feel like it. Next to the stairs is the furnace on one end and the hot water heater on the other end. In the middle is the chimney that both of those objects tie into but basically it's a big empty void of probably four feet by 3 feet. Birds used to sit on the chimney, get overcome by the exhaust and fall in, down to the bottom floor where they'd wake up and freak the heck out and my mom or dad would have to get them out. To do that, they'd take the pipe off the top of the water heater which goes up a few inches then bends to go almost straight into the wall of that little void space so the fumes can go up and out the chimney. Once they move the pipe, they better have the front door open because the bird would fly to the opening, sometimes pause for a second, then fly straight out the door! Only once did one get turned around; the curtain on the window beside the door was open and the bird thought that was 'out' and when it wasnt, he turned around and went into the kitchen (probably needed a snack after that ordeal) and flew around out there, banging into those windows until someone directed it back to the living room and out the door, whew! 
Daddy put a chimney cap on years and years ago and we haven't had a bird since, not in my lifetime even. (this was all in the previous kitty's life times and they had fun staring at the furnace and water heater alerting to where the noise was coming from) 

So, back to now. I think it was Friday when mom kept hearing some noises, like things being knocked over. She assumed it was us! Can you imagine the insult! As if I, or my sisters, would be throwing things around the the kitchen! I mean, there wasn't even anything interesting out there to bat around! She heard one big noise and saw me running down the hall way and assumed I did something. As if! She figured out later that I was actually running from my vigil in front of the furnace. Um! I mean, running to tell her about it, not running away! Honest, I'm a big brave mancat! I just.. needed to report on the situation.. 

Cut to Saturday and after having heard lots of noises all morning and still thinking it was cat related, mom starts hearing the frantic scraping and scratching of tiny claws along with some "oooo ooo ooo" noises. Oh great, she thought, a dove fell in! And it's in the furnace itself, not the void! Furnace gets shut off so as not to incinerate the 'dove'. 

When daddy got home, he tried to explain that there's no way a dove could get into the actual furnace, but hey, that's not how momma hears it, so the furnace stays off. Thank goodness for our fur coats! Mom's all "Dismantle the furnace!" And dad's all "I don't hear anything, are you sure it's still there?" The no noise persisted so they decided to nap on it.  Pardon me here, while I wipe a tear, but I'm so freaking proud of my parents! This is the most cat like thing ever, isnt it?! You love them, you try to teach them, and then *sniff* they go and do something so perfectly right and you know you did your job! They woke up to more frenzied scrambling claws and "oooo ooo ooo"ing and daddy was all, guess you're right. But still, daddy insisted it wasn't in the furnace so he went to the other side and the water heater and yup, he could hear it over there. So out came the pipe and the door stood open waiting for the 'dove' to fly out! 

The only one who wanted out was me! Yes, after years and years of never caring what was outside, I decided that I wanted to go out that wide open, unguarded door. Mom freaked, Daddy came running to grab me and I ran and hid under mom's bed. Then Glitter decided she wanted to go out that big open door! Mom freaked, dad ran, Glitter went upstairs. And then you know what happened?? you got it! Cashmere! She wanted to go out, mom freaked, dad ran, but she didnt get away! Daddy scooped her up and put her in the laundry room and shut the door! I tried it again... but again, I got away and under the bed. Glitter tried and, she got scooped and put in the laundry room! I knew my freedom was in jeopardy so I stayed hidden. For a while. During all of this, mom was in charge of watching the door (which is why she was doing freak out duty and dad was doing the running and grabbing) I tried again.. but I stayed in the middle of the room, watching, waiting. Behaving so I didnt get my furry butt locked up! Daddy let me be as long as I stayed there. 

Ok, so why didn't this silly bird get the heck out while all this was going on? We had no idea. Then daddy said, "I don't think it's a dove..." Mom asked how he could tell. "Because I'm looking at it and it has a nose.." Dad, who was watching from beside the water heater, to keep anything from deciding to go to the kitchen instead of the door, kept peeking in and finally the little bugger stuck it's head out, "It's a squirrel!" daddy said! And oh boy was he sassy! He was cussing up a storm in ebil squirrel-speak! Chattering and ooo ooo oooing and carrying on like we were responsible for his predicament! "well just leave!" daddy told him, but nooooo He was not in the mood to just leave. First it was just his nose, then his head, then two front paws and his head.. but that was it! He wouldn't come all the way out! 

He wasn't afraid of daddy so much any more either, he kept his head out and scolded him for the longest time. Mom wondered if he had too big a butt to get out, but she thinks they are like cats; if the head can get out, so can the body. Dad finally wondered if he couldn't get out because he had his back feet on the firewall and his front feet on the drywall and couldn't make a leap in that small hole. Don't know why he couldn't just pull himself through.. but dad decided to cut the hole larger so he could jump out. This required a trip out to the garage and required that I, once again, try to get outside! This time, I got caught! And put in the laundry room with the sisters. Rats. 

Daddy makes the hole larger. Mom is freezing because the door has been open for hours now and the furnace is still off so they take a squirrel break and get mom settled in bed under covers. During this mom heard the door squeak but dad said it was the wind. They wait forever and... nothing. no more scolding sounds, no more foot scrambling sounds, no little nose sticking out the hole. Nothing. Dad decides it somehow got back up the chimney (which, above that little void has a round metal chimney pipe that is not conducive to little animals climbing..) Mom says it got out the door when they weren't watching, dad maintains chimney. Who knows. Who cares, turn on the heat!!

The rest of the night, nothing, no noise. We were let out, by the way, when the door got shut and the furnace turned back on. Sunday, nothing, not a peep. Monday, all quite in the morning. Monday afternoon though... Someone starts with the squirrel cussing and claw scrambling in there again! Sissies and I went on high alert and stood guard by the furnace and the water heater! Mom called dad at work and he said, oh wonderful... When he got home, we started all over again. 

And here's where it all gets very interesting and even more scary!!!!!

But.. considering how long this epic story is so far, I think perhaps we should leave it on a cliffhanger and finish it tomorrow! 


Leo, the epic bard: Cue the dramatic music, cut the lights, pick it up tomorrow, people! heh heh heh!

Friday, January 10, 2020

Flashback Friday

Been a busy week here! And I so wanted to be blogging more often, like every day! Not exactly a New Year's resolution, but I wanted to! Well, when I finish this project, maybe I'll be better, fingers crossed!

This flashback is from January 2013, Leo's first winter here. It's called:

Dangling Again 

 

Leo's doing his famous Dangle again. He can do it anywhere!

I'm just gonna hang around this weekend.
 
 
 
What are YOU gonna do?

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Tuesday Tongueday

Leo's giving his opinion on when Tuesday's feel like another Monday!

Leo: Thhhhhpppppp! I'd much rather everyday felt like Saturday! 

Me too, Leo, me too!

Friday, January 3, 2020

Flashback Friday

This post is from January 2014 and is still too cute! Love how you can almost see all of the extra toes on Leo's back foot.

It was called:

Baff Time For Leo



Baff time.. Floof don't clean itself!
 
 

What the... You're filming my baff??
 
 

Now you'll probably post it... I'm so ashamed..
 
 
 
I'd never post an embarrassing picture of you, Leo! Would I? Hee hee

(Love how he's got his foot up in every picture, silly boy)

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Happy New Year!

Copied from 2017, still works! :)


Leo: Smooches at midnight anyone?



Glitter: Happy New Year Darlings!
 
 

Cashmere: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Now it's nap time so I'm confiscating all noisemakers, k?
 
 
 
Happy New Year Everyone!!

Friday, December 27, 2019

Secret Paws!

We got some wonderful packages all the way from New Zealand for our Secret Paws gifts courtesy of the Dash Kitten family! Wait til you see the awesome stuff we got!


Cashmere photobombed the picture taking. I think she wanted to open things up right away!
 Cashmere: Is this for me? I mean the paper, you know I like to bat paper around! please open it! And if you want, you can give me what's in side too.. Hurry!


Inside the wrapped package was a note book, a pen on a necklace that says New Zealand, and a butterfly bracelet! I love it all!



The Catamazing Classic treat puzzle came at the same time as the above gifts. I couldn't take pictures that day because, amazingly, we were out of cat treats! Greg was going to go to the store the next day to get some when he brought in the mail and guess what? The Dash Kitten crew had us covered, it just didn't all arrive at the same time. So yay, we could get started with the play time! After assembly of course. Seems easy right?
There was a paper inside the treat puzzle box that said watch this video to see how to assemble, "or if you're stubborn" here's a chart. We stubborn-ed it out and after much what-the-heck-ing, we got it set up! 



I distributed treats inside, and a few outside to give them the idea, then called the kitties. Since we'd trimmed claws a few days ago, no one was about to fall for the ol' come here and see mommy thing. I shook the little container of temptations. Have you ever seen them come in such a cute little thing? Me either, which is why they didnt recognize the sound. I didnt have a bag of treats to crinkle so Greg tried rattling a cough drop package since it makes the same sound (and always brings the kitties running when you just want to stop coughing your lungs out..) No go. Must have been nap time.
Then Leo poked his head out to see if it was safe. It was, so he came over to check out the new thing and.. treat! He licked one or two, which is what he usually does. 
Leo: What's this? I smell... beef treats? Lemme taste that.. *licklicklick*  



 Leo: Hey girls! Nothing bad happening! It's treat time!



Cashmere heard the call and came rushing down to see what was up.
Cashmere: Oo treats! Why are these ones damp? 



For some reason she didn't nibble any at that time. Which is odd, because she loves treats almost as much as Glitter does. We have some treat balls and Glitter learned immediately how to get the treats out of them. Cashmere learned how to wait until Glitter got the treats out so she could steal them without work. I thought she'd eat the easy to get ones anyway. (she did later)  Glitter finally came down, after daddy went looking for her. I think she thought she was getting her nails trimmed again or something because she ran from him and wound up finding the treat puzzle!
 Glitter: What the... hey, this smells like... treats!



Glitter: But... we get treats after torture, not before....



Glitter: Ok, what's the deal here? What are you trying to trick me into? 


(ok, the stinkeye she's giving me is only partly due to sceptism, partly due to the flash and the one eye, yes, she has a slight cold, nothing to worry about, we're taking care of it.)

The temptation of the Temptations was too much, she dove in!
Glitter: Ok, just a few.. *munchmunchmunch* Mmm beefy!



Glitter: Hey, you dropped some inside the holes here, mom, did you know that? 



Glitter: I think I can get it....



Glitter: There's more in this hole!

 
Glitter: Ooo and in this hole too! Wow, there's more inside than outside!



Glitter: Yeah, I got some out! Whoo hoo! *munchcrunchchomp*



Glitter: Oh yeah, I forgot about the ones on top!


Glitter: Well that was yummy! And there's flavor on my paw now, double yum!


Thank you Dash Kitten Crew! This was a hit! Even though it took them a while to warm up to it, they did get all the treats out! I kept hearing them all night; every once in a while someone would be scrape scrape scraping at the puzzle box and crunching their prize!

Merry Christmas!! We hope you are all enjoying this, the third day of Christmas and enjoying treats and presents too!