Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Love and Betrayal

(This is long, refresh your coffee, put your feet up, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!)

In the wee hours of the morning.. And I mean wee! Before any kind of light was even considering peeking into the gloom of a rather stormy night.. I’m talking early people! Like, no early birds even stirring from their comfy tree hammocks (well how do YOU think they manage to sleep up there without falling out of the tree?) Not even an early worm starting to squirm! Are you picking up with I’m laying down here? Ok then.. Where was I?

In the wee hours of the morning, my slumber was disturbed by the motorboat sound that can only be my sweet baby boy Leo purring. With a soft smile on my face I reach out to pet my darling boy who’s obviously so ready to be pet that he’s in pre-purr mode.

I feel... nothing. Ok, even though it’s dark dark dark, I crack open one weary eyeball so I can try to locate my sweetie, perhaps I can at least make out his form in the inky-ness. He has to be close, just listen to that motorboat purr! And I haven’t even touched him yet!

Do you know what my one groggy eyeball sees? Betrayal! Betrayal most foul!

My darling boy is NOT standing by me for pets, purring in anticipation.. No, he’s dancing around like a moonling and fair BEGGING his daddy to pet him!

"My cat!" I try to yell but it comes out more like a moan than anything else as both of my eyes open to this awful duplicity. And I can see it clearly by the hall light which Greg has turned on as he gets ready for work far earlier than normal. (A change in hours for a month while a coworker is home with his new baby)

"Isn’t it funny," my betraying husband says upon seeing that I’ve been waken by his infamy, "He won’t have anything to do with me downstairs, but every morning he begs for my attention."

EVERY morning?? EVERY! This treachery happens every stinkin’ day??? I’m stabbed to the heart! And the worst of this is... Leo never lets me pet and snuggle him upstairs... He won’t even sleep next to my feet because I move too much, no, he lays on Greg’s side!

Downstairs, he NEEDS my touch, lays on MY chest so I can’t breath, sleeps between MY feet on the Royal Footstool, pushes MY laptop away so he can have my undivided attention! But upstairs, he has more of a "I know you love me, just keep your grabby hands on your side of the bed, k?" kind of attitude to me.

But this, this is going TOO far! "That’s my cat!" I mutter with a little more clarity.

"Take him. I’m trying to get ready for work here."

"Come here Leo, come on baby," I cajole. Nothing. "Oh Lee-o Oooo" I chorus, sounding like the guards singing their way back into the castle in The Wizard of Oz, which he normally comes to.

He takes a few steps closer and gives me a perfunctory sniff, but before I can do more than reach out, he’s gone back to Greg and I barely got a touch of the ends of his feathery tail furs..

Betrayal. I say it again: Be-tray-al!

I go back to sleep, suffering from sever furry neglect and depression.

Ok, I have not been sleeping well for a while. No sooner does the clock hit 8am and the calls start. Political calls, surveys, and just for fun, thirteen bajillion insurance companies! Seems some woman put my phone number on a website saying she wants medical insurance so please call! Do you KNOW how many insurance companies are out there?? Do you know how many are RUDE when you tell them they have the wrong number or have been duped by this woman named Teresa Espsosa?

What I’m saying is, I’m not sleeping great and as you know, my ‘morning’ never starts before noon so that’s at least four hours for these people to bug me in my ‘night!’

But today, today I did not get any calls! No one bugged me! No one told me how I should vote. No one wanted me to do a ‘short’ survey that in actuality takes seventy five hours to finish because they have to keep repeating things so I can understand their accent, the duplicitous wording of the questions, and hear them over the loud voices of their fellow workers!

So I slept the sleep of the betrayed, yet undisturbed. Then I get up and go downstairs and find the reason for this.

Love. Love and understanding from a very unexpected place.

Star, the little girl so fully devoted to her daddy that she’d rather tear my arm off than look at me, (unless he’s not home, then I MUST pet her in the exact manner as she wants for exactly how long she wants or it’s the claw for me!) has done me a great favor!

She’s knocked the phone off the hook. And not only that, but she’s dragged it half way across the room and made sure the handset is far from the body so that it cannot even attempt to settle back into the cradle!

Now is that the sweetest thing ever? At least SOMEone loves me...

I do love you, mommy, most of the time. Now make over with the Temptations!

I do too love you! I just likes to choose when I shows it.. Fancy Feast please?


Sparkle said...

I do hope Star got extra treats for her favor! Sadly for my human, the phones here can't be knocked off the hook. You have to knock them over and step on them in JUST the right way to get them off the hook, and it's usually too much trouble for us kitties to bother.

dArtagnan Rumblepurr/Diego Hamlet Moonfur said...

Rumblemum says she knows your pain - she feels very sad if I pay attention to Rumbledad... I have to tell her I love them both equally!

Sometimes, Cats Herd You said...

Leo, you sneaky boy! You weren't supposed to wake up mom and let her know what you were two-timing her in the wee hours of the morning! MOL

Star is s smart girl. Maybe she can come stop the political calls coming to my cellphone next?

Katie Isabella said...

Oh really should have shown more care where you gave purrs and the permission to pet your warm silky self. Now you hurt your mom's feelings. Quiet is the operative word abd it wouldn't hurt to know "furtive" as well. Star, you are just being you.

The Mom: any chance of getting an unlisted number or get on "do-not-call?

Random Felines said...

that Star is a smart girl. and if you want love all night long, mom says we can ship you a Bourbon :)

Mr. Black said...

Leo knows which side of his bread is buttered on. Or, something like that. Undisturbed sleep upstairs, undivided attention downstairs.

P.S. Isn't there something like a "do not call list" that can be updated, or a notification to somebody somewhere about unwanted phone calls. Some ominous sounding warning to be sent? All calls being screened and NO ONE spoken to that is a sales person. Something.

LP said...

We think Leo might be loyal to BOTH of you and it sure looks as though Star is trying! :p

the critters in the cottage xo

Cathy Keisha said...

You need to get on that Do Not Call list! We don't even get political calls *knock on wood*Leo is just being fickle cos us cats are famous for that. I ADORE Pop but after the lights go out, I won't go into his room. I sleep with TW. the other night, I went into Pop's bed and his food came crashing down on me. I had to bite hard!

Brian said...

Spreading the love around is a grand idea!

Nicola Carpenter said...

I wanted a cat to love. One that would sit on my lap and purr while a stroked it's silky fur. That's when we brough Thomas O'Toole home. Since that moment he has made it his mission in life to detach my limbs from the rest of me.

But I still love him.

The Paw Relation's mum.

Sherlock, Ash and Traveler said...

What a love-filled story! purrrs

ABBY said...

It had a very happy ending!!!

✿•*¨`*•. ♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥✿•*¨`*•.

Colehaus Cats said...

Sharing is good...or something like that. Thank goodness there were treats in there somewhere. Purrs... said...

For her next trick, she should answer the phone and cuss as only a cat can do.

D Ma said...

Leo- for your mom's birthday you best be saving you loudest motorboat purrs for her.

Rykers Boyz n Allie said...

You GO Star! MOL! *whispers* don't tell Mommy but we party down with daddy at 2 AM every night while she SNORES.

Noir the Texas Tabby said...

See, Star had your back! And Leo loves you---but ya know, we mancats--well....and I'll help eat the Fancy Feast!


Spitty-the-Kitty said...

This was an EPIC. And the lesson to be learned here is: You can trust STAR. STAR is the best cat! STAR is beautiful and loyal and true. And such a tiny bundle of love, too!

The DNC list?? It is to laff! We faithfully renew our membership and in CA at least, callers COMPLETELY IGNORE IT. They know there's no way they're going to be prosecuted, making robocalls from floating area codes. We have caller ID and if we don't recognize the number, we don't pick up. Lots of times we just turn the ringer off and check occasionally for messages. Don't even get us STARTED about political calls!!!

meowmeowmans said...

That happens here, too! Moosey is a daddy's boy, and Sammy is a momma's boy. But every now and then, they'll switch thing up to keep us on our toes. :)

GREAT job, Star! A break from those calls is priceless!

Oui Oui said...

We are speechless! WHAT is Leo thinking? At least Star was a good girl and helped you get some sleep. Our mom hasn't answered her home number for about 5 years, and that's with being on the no call list. She just checks messages. Important peeps call on her cell phone.

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Iza, and Marley) said...

We are on the Do Not Call list but there are several telemarketers who call relentlessly. The one who wants to fix our credit card rating is the worst. Several times a week for over a year. Yould think they would give up eventually. Well, TBT recently activated the voice mail feature of our bundled cable service. It allows you to block some numbers. He blocked the few from that telemarketer and that werked for 2 weeks. Now they call with a different phone number. He'll have to add that one to the blocked list. said...

We dont care what list you are on, the big businesses can do whatever they want..and the politicians..ugh! And Mumsy, those kittehs are just so precious, you must bend your will to their needs...just sayin'...paw pats, Savannah